


Alone

by FlyofDragon



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Michael Guerin Needs a Hug, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27212449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyofDragon/pseuds/FlyofDragon
Summary: When they were teenagers, Michael and Alex had a code to communicate what they needed. Sometimes they felt lost or so out of control it felt like they were falling with no end in sight. Then there were times when they felt alone.--Michael feels alone. Alex makes him feel less alone.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 8
Kudos: 107





	Alone

Michael was alone. That was nothing new for him. He usually liked being alone. But tonight was different. Tonight he _felt_ alone.

Everyone else had somebody. Max had followed Liz to the coast to try to work things out and get back together. Isobel, Rosa, and Maria had formed some kind of friendship and were out at the Pony. Even Valenti had plans with his new, not-dying girlfriend. And Alex…Michael didn’t want to think about Alex.

When they were teenagers, Michael and Alex had a code to communicate what they needed. Sometimes they felt lost or so out of control it felt like they were falling with no end in sight. So if one of them said they felt lost, that person got to be in total control for the night. Then there were times when they felt alone. Times when they felt unloved and unwanted by the world and everyone around them. When that happened, they needed to be taken care of – shown that they were loved and appreciated. And tonight, Michael felt alone.

A knock sounded at his door. “It’s open!” he yelled, not wanting to get up from his slumped position on his bed. He heard the creak of his door opening and the slam of it shutting a moment later.

“Hey.”

Michael jerked upright and stared at his visitor. The voice was unmistakable and his vision confirmed it. He wondered if he was dreaming. “What are you doing here?” he asked hoarsely.

Alex shrugged and moved to sit next to him on the bed. “Do you ever just have the feeling that someone needs you?” he asked. “I was having a drink with Maria before she ditched me for alien girls’ night and then I decided to go home. Except I came here instead. I spent like, ten minutes sitting in my car trying to figure out why I came here when I realized that I had a feeling that you needed me.”

Michael felt tears welling up in his eyes. Stupid cosmic love bullshit, but he wouldn’t cry in front of Alex Manes. He refused to. Instead he shrugged and said: “I’m fine. You can go home if you want to.”

He felt Alex’s gaze on him as if the intensity alone could bore holes into Michael’s head and reveal all the secrets buried there. Michael also refused to meet Alex’s eyes because that’s exactly what would happen if he did.

“Got anything to drink?” Alex asked suddenly.

The question took Michael by surprise. “There’s beer in the fridge.” He tried to answer lightly.

Alex walked past Michael to the small fridge and retrieved two beers. He passed one to Michael on his way back to his seat. Michael studied him, trying to work out what brought him there and what hope he had for getting what he needed.

“Forrest and I broke up,” Alex said, breaking the silence.

“Really?”

Alex nodded. “I like him but it was never anything serious for me,” he said. “Just something with no pressure. Or history.” He paused. “Besides, the guy is way too invested in World War 2 history for my taste.”

Michael rolled the information around in his head. He swore he wouldn’t do anything to mess up Alex and Forrest’s relationship. But if there was no relationship and Alex was there and Alex had said he had a feeling Michael needed him…

“Alex?” he spoke before he had consciously decided to.

“Yeah?” Alex replied, his eyes on Michael as before.

Michael looked up then and met Alex’s eyes with his own. Let Alex see into the pain and hurt and loneliness of his soul. “I feel alone,” he said in a voice so small he hardly recognized it as his own.

In what seemed like one fluid movement, Alex took the beer bottles, placed them out of the way, and enveloped Michael in his arms, dragging Michael’s legs across his lap and bringing Michael’s head to the crook of his neck. “Whatever you need,” he said, “I’m here.”

Michael let himself breathe in the scent of Alex. It calmed him, grounded him to the present moment. He let himself be comforted by the pressure of Alex’s arms and the knowledge that Alex remembered their code. He let himself feel the rise and fall of Alex’s chest, let his fingers find the pulse point in Alex’s neck – the assurance that he was there, he was real, and he wasn’t leaving.

It was a while before either of them spoke. It was Michael who broke the silence. “Your legs must be cramping,” he said. “We should lie down.”

With some manoeuvring, they laid down on Michael’s bed facing each other. Alex had taken a minute to remove his shoes and prosthetic. “How are you feeling now?” Alex asked.

“Less alone,” Michael told him. “I’m sorry.”

Alex furrowed his brow. “For what?” he asked. “Needing someone? Needing me? I wouldn’t have stayed if I didn’t want to.”

Michael shook his head. “I’m sorry for giving you so many reasons to leave.”

“Michael,” Alex said softly. Michael buried his face into Alex’s chest, the sound of his name flooding him with emotion. Alex kissed the top of his head and nudged his chin upward. He kissed Michael lightly across his forehead and down to his jaw line and then he pressed a kiss to Michael’s lips. “Never forget that in all your effort to push me away, I kept coming back.”

Michael dropped the last bit of his resolve and surged forward to kiss Alex. “Stay?” he asked. “Please?”

“Of course,” Alex said, tugging his arms a little tighter around Michael. “We’ll make it work.”


End file.
